I wasn't the biggest fan of Gentlemen's clubs before coming to Russia but Moscow strip clubs have converted me. I know there's a lot of you gentlemen out there who are looking to come to Moscow. You are eager to visit the city's Gentlemen's clubs and see some of the famous sexy Russian women.
Lucky for you, I have been to more than a few strip clubs in Moscow. Introducing:
The Ultimate Moscow Strip Club Guide
In this guide you will find out:
Use the table of contents because this is a very long 3,000+ words guide!
At the end of it you can consider yourself well-prepared to hit some of the best clubs in Moscow.
Unsurprisingly for a such a huge city with an abundance of hot women, you have an excessive amount of Gentlemen's clubs to choose from. This is an incomplete list with just a couple of the best clubs:
Of course there is a lot more of them but these 10 are more than enough to keep you busy for a while. Soon you will find reviews of the clubs on Moscownightguide as well but by and large, they do not differ too much from another.
Opening hours at most strip clubs are daily from 9pm till 5am or 6am. Peak times are like in normal nightclubs: Fridays and Saturdays from 12am onwards are the busiest, meaning the most attractive girls will be making sure to work at these times. Some clubs are also open 24/7 but these will more likely be the equivalent to the dive bars in terms of normal nightclubs.
One of the big advantages of Moscow stripclubs, besides having lots of hot women that are dancing for you butt-ass naked, is how super affordable they are. Prices are barely differing from normal Moscow nightclubs, except for the 2000 Rubles admission you have to pay.
Regarding the rest, they're in line with prices at regular clubs, meaning the higher end a venue the more you'll have to fork over. Here's a couple of examples as to what you can expect to fork over for a jolly good time with hot Russian strippers:
As you can see, drinks are pretty much the same and as far as the rest goes, some readers might argue you'll have to pay one way or the other.
Another cool feature of Moscow strip clubs is how not sleazy and awesome they are (at least the mainstream ones). They do put in a lot of effort to give you a really good customer experience.
You can compare the atmosphere probably best to a good preparty or afterparty spot. The music sort of sucks but you have tons of sexy naked girls around you to make up for it. It's not like in a poppin' nightclub but more like in one of the darker afterparty venues. Most probably you won't even notice the poor DJ since your mind (and your pants) will be busy with other things.
Since most of the girls are there to make some side income besides dancing, that kind of takes a lot of pressure out of the situation (pun intended). The men know what's up and most of the time it's the reason why they're there in the first place. The girls know what's up too and the bad ones won't beat around the bush too long with their offer to get to know each other in a more private environment.
The best girls will not slap you with an offer for a private dance or more right away but make conversation and flirt with you. These are the girls that you should be looking out for to have a good experience.
For you as a guest that means that you won’t get hassled in the same way you do usually. You don’t need to buy the strippers drinks or make awkward conversation. The girls will come up to you and start talking to you themselves.
Most of the time they’ll offer you to start dancing. That means you’re pretty much getting a private dance right there because the girls take off all their clothes. In the end you tip them a hundred Rubles (can be a bit more at some places) and if you don’t want more that’s it. It’s as easy as that.
That’s why getting a private dance doesn’t make a whole lot of sense at Moscow stripclubs. All you’re getting is a bit of privacy with the girl but if you want some action, you’ll still have to pay more. You can also reject the girls for whatever reason. Since it’s their job and they want to make more money, naturally the strippers will start coming to you once you see other girls are dancing for you.
The girls do not really differ all that much from what you’ll see at normal nightclubs. All of them are slim and most of them are extremely attractive. You do get the occasional girl that isn’t in tip-top shape but by and large, Moscow stripclubs feature tons of sexy Russian girls.
The clubs make sure they cover everyone’s taste, so you’ll get the full selection of types of girls that Russia has to offer: short, tall, skinny, curvier, fake and real boobs, European or Asian looking girls, anything goes. I can’t really say I’ve noticed a massive difference in the clubs itself. Pretty much any of the main strip clubs will have someone you like, so there’s no wrong choices here. In this case a couple of images say more than words ever could.
You should dress for a Moscow strip club the same way as you do for a regular nightclub. A bit casual is somewhat fine but too casual is definitely a no-go. There’s no face control as such but security won’t let you in if you don’t look acceptable. Check out my style guide for Moscow nightlife in case you need help on this.
If you’ve never been to a Gentlemen’s club in Moscow or in general, I’ll walk you through what happens.
Upon entering you will first be checked by security for weapons and other funny stuff that you should not have on you. As I said, there’s no face control but you should be dressed appropriately and not be blackout drunk.
Leave your coat and walk up to the hostesses that will welcome you to the establishment. If you were smart enough to get free entry from me, you will not have to cough up any money at this point. One of the girls takes you to the main area of the club and explains you all the details of where you can sit for free and which tables work with a deposit.
Though I think in other countries this isn’t the best option, in Moscow the best free seats are those around the stage. If you can get a free table (if it’s still early or late in the night) then go for that, otherwise get one of those.
Because at the bar you have poor logistics. The girls can come and go very easily and the best you can get out of it is having a chat with them. Maybe one will be nice enough to grind on your crotch but that’s about it.
At the seats the investment on their part is bigger. Girls come to dance for you but the measly 100 Rubles tip is easily worth it. At the same time you not only get full nudity and a good show but you can also chat with the girls and if you play your cards right, they might sit on your lap and stay longer. Especially so, if it’s early or late on their shifts or you're just a cool motherfucker.
If you’re there for the first time, you’ll inevitably feel like a kid in a candy store. It’s hard to avoid having a big-ass grin on your face when you walk into an establishment that has 20+ half-naked sexy Russian girls putting on a show. Act as cool as you can be and don’t let them on to the fact that you are a newbie, even if you are.
Once you’re in, you can sit back and enjoy the show. If you don’t dig a girl that wants to dance for you, just politely tell her no and that’s completely fine. If you’re not into getting “more” from her, let her know in a cool and calm way. Some girls bring it up right away, some not at all. As I said, most of them work but some don’t. If she hasn’t brought it up but you are interested in her, then let her know that you’d like to “get to know her better” somewhere more private. She’s done this more times than you.
If paying is not your thing, Moscow strip clubs are a terrific place to game women. Most guys come to pay for play, since almost all girls are really hot. That means your competition is pretty much non-existent and you really stand out if you are dressed sharp and can turn on the charm.
I found the best tactics to be coming any time except for peak times on Friday and Saturday. You’d find me somewhere else during these times anyway, so I wouldn’t even be able to tell you, ha. Just get a seat, sip on your drink and observe the show. It’s game in easy mode since the girls come up to you and you get to pick who you do or do not like. The best girls are those that do not want to go somewhere private right away. Even if I was paying, I would be turned off by such a blunt offer.
Talk to them as you would to any other girl. Act like her being naked or getting payed for playtime isn’t even reality. If your dick says otherwise, no problem. You’re not the first, nor the last guy whose boner she’s sitting on, so don’t trip. She’s a girl first and a stripper second. You’d be surprised by how quickly these girls become horny as well.
If you make a good connection with her, get her to whisper her number or Instagram in your ear. For obvious reasons the girls aren’t allowed to give out their contact but it’s not an issue, plenty of them will do so if your game is tight. I’ve never gone for action on the same night, for the simple reason that I usually hit up normal nightclubs afterwards and the girls want to work and make money anyway. Meeting them outside their work environment normalizes the situation.