You know you’re not just a regular guy when you get an invitation to go to a Russian sex party in Moscow and you don’t hesitate a moment to confirm it.
Cause that is exactly how I got into my first Russian sex party.
Now you might think “Ivan, why the hell would I need to think twice to go to party with sex and Russian girls?”
And you’re right, it does sound really seductive, doesn’t it?
Maybe you’ve seen Eyes Wide Shut, or Wild Things or, god forbid, 50 Shades of Grey.
Those movies are a bit like the real thing but, then again, not really. Also some of those films that you might’ve seen on Pornhub could be compared to that but we’ll get to that later...
However, I’ll also tell you in this Ultimate Guide why these kinky parties are a great but dangerous experience that not everyone is cut out for.
Here’s what this guide covers:
Use the table of contents because this is a very long 3,000+ words guide!
How I got into a Russian sex party in Moscow
My good friend Chris Helmbrecht, who is a DJ and a very well-connected person in Moscow’s nightlife, was the headliner at one of the events. If you read his stories it’s no surprise they hired him. There were a few free spots on his guest list, so when he asked who was interested...
...do you think I had to think twice?
Obviously I am a horny bastard and not afraid to show it. But I also was pretty damn curious as to what the party was going to be like. Turns out that it went way beyond what I expected but we’ll get to that now.
What is a Kinky Party
Sex parties in Moscow go under the name of Kinky Party.
Now it doesn't take a lot of genius to figure out that a kinky party involves some kind of debauchery and sex. This description is the shortest and most concise I could think of:
There’s theme parties where everyone just puts on a silly costume, gets drunk and goes home.
But only people that are sexually adventurous, open-minded and “different” enough dare to go to a Kinky Party.
However, people don’t just go there to “hook up and see what happens”. It’s very much clear from the beginning that you might have sex.
At these parties the ideas of “anything goes” and “no means no” are very much intact. You can go there to have sex with multiple people that night or you can simply observe and take in a new and unusual experience. Either is completely fine. There’s no feeling of pressure either way.
What kind of Kinky Parties are there
In Moscow there are two different sexually themed parties.
The Loshadka party is, to my knowledge, the bigger but tamer one. I’ve never been myself but friends and acquaintances have told me that it’s an “edgier” type of normal party. Guests dress up (or rather do not dress at all) but sexual acts are the exception there. It's also more located in the LGBT corner and a bit more "queer". No guarantees here, that's what I know from hearsay.
The Kinky party, formerly pop porn party, is the “real” sex party in Moscow. There guests actually go to enjoy themselves, live out their fantasies and, yes, also to have sex. Right in front of everyone else. We’ll get to the details of that later. The information in this post is all based on my experience at the kinky parties I have been to.
I think there might be some other copycats or less official versions of these parties. These two though are the only two real communities you need to know in Moscow.
What is the difference between a Kinky Party and a swinger party
At first a kinky party and a swinger party seem the same. And there is some overlap between those two. At both people are having sex openly in front of other people. Both usually have sort of an “alternative” feel that is rougher than regular vanilla sex. Both are visited by couples that want to live out some of their fantasies.
But you have differences too. I’ve never been at a swinger party but as far as I know those are very much a “couple thing”. You go to observe, be observed or maybe swap partners. At a kinky party you have a mixture of couples and single people, both male and female. These people either come because they’ve heard about the concept and are curious or to live out their fantasies and test their sexual limits.
What is a Kinky Party like
The atmosphere at a kinky party is quite unique. I mentioned the two basic concepts “anything goes” and “no means no”.
Anything goes means that you can come to a kinky party and do things that you might be too shy for or afraid of doing in your normal life. This is especially true for women. Or you could come and do nothing. Either way no one forces you to do anything.
At the same time the organizers do a very good job of creating a special and unreal atmosphere that allows you to relax and let your imagination and desire run free. As always, alcohol helps a ton. I’ve never seen drugs at one of their parties but I guess they’re no more or less prevalent than at usual parties.
While you can do anything, at the same time everyone respects everyone else’s limits. In practical terms this means you can sleep with anyone if it’s ok with them and their potential partner. At kinky parties no one really beats around the bush (pun intended). If you want to find or join someone having sex then you can gently approach them physically and/or verbally. If she or they are ok with it they will let you know very fast. A no is a no and everyone knows and respects that.
Apart from that the atmosphere feels very unreal and you’ll need a few days to process what you’ve experienced, especially after your first time. I take them as special events that I visit very rarely and only when I am in the mood for it and when I like the theme. I think they lose their appeal if you start going to too many and you become kind of numb to how unusual these parties are.
Who goes to Russian sex parties and are there more men than women
As I mentioned, singles but also couples visit these sex parties in Moscow. I’ve seen any age between 18 and 45 but the average age is probably somewhere in the late twenties. A lot of guests have an inclination towards the BDSM scene. You’ll see that a lot of costumes have a BDSM flavor to them, regardless of the theme. Not all though because you also have “regular people” or newcomers.
The ratios are ok at the parties. But I found that as the community has grown bigger, the amount of men and couples has increased. The first party that I visited had maybe roughly a 5050 ratio but at the second there were definitely more men and also more couples. Overall, it had a more “swinger” vibe to it than the first.
How do I participate in a sex party in Russia
You can find tickets on their sites. The Kinky Party has a system of people being manually approved based on their social media profiles. The organizers want to make sure that there are no weirdos at the parties and that everyone is aware of what they are getting themselves into.
How much are sex parties in Russia
Tickets start from 2,000 Rubles (~30$) for early birds to 5,000 Rubles regular price. With the community becoming bigger and with changing to a bigger venue, they’ve also introduced the option to get a table. You get a full-service package that includes a ton of things although I'm not so sure it's really worth the price tag. That can go up to 150,000 Rubles.
Where do sex parties take place in Moscow
They used to take place at the Dissident club in Moscow, which is a small underground club that is open all weekend. After becoming really popular the organizers changed the venue to the bigger Pravda club. Personally I much preferred the intimacy of a small club. The big club is very much a big Berlin-style club which changed the atmosphere and the intensity of the event quite a bit.
Are people actually having sex at Russian sex parties
As I already described, you will see plenty of people having sex. Some in corners, some openly in front of everyone. Some also in groups. There’s also a massage zone where women can get an erotic massage by professionals. The area with the DJ is usually a bit tamer although you’ll see people having sex there too.
The peak of the debauchery is happening in a special, smaller “dark room”, which isn’t darker than other rooms. In there, everyone is going at it and you’ll also see women with multiple men or the other way round. Experiencing this for the first time can be quite a bit to take in, no pun intended. It is very similar to what you might have seen in one of those naughty movies on Pornhub.
Do you use protection at a sex party
You are very, very well-advised to use condoms there and I think it is also one of the event’s rules that protection must be used. There are free condoms at the event for the forgetful guests.
Do you have to dress up at a sex party
Yes, every event has a special theme and you need to dress up accordingly. Examples are a White theme, a Halloween theme, a Black Tie theme, a Future theme and so on. Your costume needs to be “kinky” though. Just rolling up in a black suit or a white t-shirt to one of the themes isn’t good enough. There has to be something sexual about it.
Women usually come in lingerie or applicable costumes, think black leather stuff. Men need to be more creative but again, less is more in terms of clothing. Since the organizers are clever, they also came up with a market where you can also buy or rent costumes for the parties.
How to behave at a sex party
If you are there for the first time, my advice is to be generous with the alcohol and just enjoy it. Depending on how much of a freak you are (I’m a big one, ha), it will take you shorter or longer to process the whole experience. Alcohol helps you to relax and makes you hornier too. This is never bad at these parties.
Other than that, it’s not that much different from a normal party. Be cool, respect their rules and other guests' private spaces and limits and you’ll have a blast. Watching other people is totally acceptable and sometimes even desired. Most people that do not come to have sex with someone else, get off on being observed and doing it in public.
The kinky parties really get going, just like any other party in Moscow, at around midnight with a show. The peak of the party is at 2am-3am. By 5am or so most guests have left. You can arrive in your normal clothes and change your outfit at the venue.
How to get girls at a sex party in Moscow
„Meeting someone“ is really easy at a kinky party. Approach and talk to girls as you would do in any other club. The only real difference is that you’ll very quickly know whether she’s up to have fun with you or not. If the vibe is good you can go from meeting to having sex within a few minutes or even seconds.
As usual, you don’t want to come across as a creep and you don’t want to hit on any girl that’s within your reach. There might be four people having sex on a couch right next to you but that doesn’t mean that the girl you’re talking to will be down for it as well.
You can also physically approach people that are already having sex. Especially in the “dark room” you’ll see group sex and girls having sex with multiple men. You can gently start touching her while at the same time making sure that’s ok with her partner(s). Usually some eye contact and a few gestures will show you immediately what’s up. They’ll let you know whether you can join in on the fun.
As I have mentioned, a no is a no. If you’re really unsure about how to wing this whole thing, just observe the more experienced guests and you’ll certainly learn a thing or two.
How you will feel after having been at a sex party in Moscow
Participating in a kinky party feels like you’re in a movie. You experience everything in an almost trance-like state. Especially if you don’t skimp on the alcohol like I did.
But just wait till you wake up the next day.
You’ll have a certain swagger about your walk. The world will definitely not feel the same. You know the afterglow feeling that you have after having sex? Multiply that by a hundred and that’s kind of like it feels.
My second experience was already a bit more “normal”. That’s why I decided to make visits a rare enough event. Their novelty factor can wear off quite fast and I also preferred the outlay and the vibe of the smaller club where the parties used to take place.
Three things you will take away after visiting a Russian sex party
I wouldn’t go as far as saying that you can learn something there. But having had the experience, these three things definitely stood out to me:
#1: You experience male bonding
Funny how the first point is about other men, isn't it?
Regular guys call over their “bros and buddies” to chill over beers and mindless entertainment. They don't do that to watch the game, they do it to bond with their friends.
I can tell you now that there's no better way of bonding with your buddies than at a kinky party.
There’s a reason why big business deals and political negotiations are celebrated with hookers.
Cause men bond well over women and the sharing of women. Sounds tough but that’s the truth.
You’ll know who’s a real friend and who isn’t, once you’ve double-teamed a woman or swapped girls. I definitely feel like I have a stronger bond with the guys that were with me at those parties.
At our core we’re still animals and it probably satisfies some deep primal desire that we have hard-wired into our brains from ancient times.
#2: You learn something about your sexuality and jealousy
At the same time, you absolutely cannot, under no circumstances, get jealous at one of these parties. This ties directly into the first point.
That girl whose brains you were just fucking out two minutes ago? She’s already at it with two different guys. You’re not special.
If you feel a pinch of jealousy even at the thought of that, then you probably shouldn’t go to these events. Cause that’s exactly what is going to happen.
However, you really get to reconnect with your inner caveman and get to experiment and do a lot of things you usually might not dare to.
#3: You test your sexual limits
Some of the stuff you will be seeing and doing at a kinky party is right out of some of Pornhub's educational video material. Almost nothing is off limits at these parties, besides doing it without protection (at least you definitely shouldn’t) or going homo.
But people in groups, people with multiple partners, at various places…I could go on with this list for a long time. Bottom line is that you have to see it to believe it. But it is definitely not for the faint of heart and not for those that are into vanilla sex and believe in their one true love.
If you’re open-minded about sex though then you’re guaranteed to have an amazing time.
Who should visit a Kinky Party and who shouldn't
If after all this you are still wondering whether this is or isn't for you, here's a quick and easy way of checking:
You should visit if you:Are not very confident and emotionally stable
You should not visit if you: