If you google "How to meet girls on Instagram", you will get a lot of generic, lacklustre, generic advice from PUAs and content writers that have never even tried what they recommend.
That's why I decided to write down absolutely everything I know from more than three years of meeting girls on Instagram. The result is this 6,000-word guide. Get pen and paper because you're about to learn a whole damn lot about how to get laid on Instagram.
Because this guide is so long and so in-depth I thought about actually selling it. I could do that but I decided not to. The knowledge in this guide is worth hundreds of bucks. You will not find this advice anywhere else on the net.
3 reasons why in 2020 you need Instagram for meeting girls
Let me ask you something:
What do you gain out of not being on Instagram?
I can already hear the objections:
"But good girls don't have social media and online dating, I don't want an attention whore!"
"I don't want to contribute to thirst by liking some thot's pictures!"
"I am doing just fine without Instagram and get better results in real life anyway!"
Well, I have some breaking fucking news for you. First, social media and online dating aren't going away anytime soon. So you not being on it doesn't contribute to anything. You're hustling backward by doing that. Second, even if you are doing better in real life (which you should if you have a good personality), there is no reason in the world not to have Instagram.
In fact, if you're a man that has his shit even remotely together, you should welcome an app like Instagram.
Instagram leverages and multiplies your strengths and I'm about to show you how.
First, let's be real here.
A girl without Instagram these days?
Maybe in some backward-ass village in a third-world country, you can find that. But I am willing to bet money that 95 out of 100 attractive women in first and second-world countries have an Instagram profile.
And why shouldn't they? If I was a hot girl with a firm ass, I'd TOTALLY take advantage of that. It would be STUPID not to do it. Instagram is big business now for many hot women. So let's drop the virtue-signaling and face realities here.
With that in mind, we can turn our attention to how we can use this fact to our own advantages. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know as well as I do that women spend their entire friggin day on Instagram. Take away a girl's phone and she'll start getting jittery within 10 minutes max, unless she's engulfed in some other activity...
Consider it from a logical standpoint: where does she spend more time, in the club or on Instagram? She might be for 5 hours in the club on Saturday but she's 2 hours every single day on Instagram. If you know how to find her, your chances of "meeting" her there are MUCH HIGHER.
We covered time but this point is even more important. Skip over this and I'll personally bitchslap you.
Instagram is your no.1 sales and pre-sales tool for meeting women.
Your personality, finances, looks and all that stuff comes in when you meet her in person. But Instagram can do half the work for you before you've even started.
Women love intrigue and a good story. And what better way than to tell your story and to intrigue them than through Instagram? It is the shop window of your life. The highlight reel of all your plays. All your finest moments are displayed there. Even better, YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHAT SHE SEES. You can create your own story and build your own personal brand the way you choose to.
She will scroll through your profile and based on the pictures you chose, she will make a decision on the spot. If you've done a good job, she will consider you interesting. Congratulations, your Instagram profile has just pre-sold you within a matter of seconds. That works for girls you've never met before just as well as for a girl that you have met briefly in real life and haven't had time to establish a connection with. Both ways, you start off from a much better position.
Instagram sells you in a matter of seconds but the effort behind building a good profile takes months to years. If you already have an archive of interesting pictures and are willing to spend money on growing your account, you can speed it up somewhat. But by and large, Instagram is a more or less accurate description of your life and how interesting it is.
Can you embellish somewhat on Instagram?
You not only can but you should!
Girls do the same so there's no point in "playing fair" here. Attention on social media and online dating thrives on exaggeration. But don't embellish to a point where it gets unrealistic. If you're taking pictures of yourself in a rented Ferrari but can't pay for dinner, there's a huge gap between perception and reality that will hurt you.
Instagram forces you to learn to play the long game, go out there, do cool shit, capture that in photos, and then get people to see these photos.
None of this is an easy or fast way of meeting women. This will require real effort.
That is precisely why it works so well because almost no one goes through the effort of doing it with such professionalism.
Good content to meet girls on Instagram
What is good Instagram content?
To get girls on Instagram, your pictures all need to follow at least one but ideally all three of the following guidelines:
The three-point checklist to good pictures on Instagram
First, recall that Instagram is our tool for preselling our amazing personality and lives. Women aren't looking to meet losers that have nothing going on in life but winners that can take them on exciting adventures. Women want to meet attractive, high-value, high-status, desirable men. Even if she's living in the ghetto, she's dreaming of meeting LeBron, not Carl the crackhead.
Your pictures need to reflect that you are a high-value male.
Be the man that other men would like to be and other women would like to meet. I will go into what content to create below but every photo should display a positive or desirable trait of yours. Ask yourself:
Which positive associations will this picture create in girls?
How does this make me look desirable and high-value?
If you cannot think of anything then it's not a picture worth posting.
Next, the picture has a story behind it. Selfies are bad content for this very reason: most of the time they don't tell a story. Think about it like this. I'm sure you've come across girls' profiles with endless repetitions of the same shot. Did that appeal to you? Of course not. There was no story behind the picture. It was just her first showing her left buttcheek then her right buttcheek.
The basic rule of thumb is that your picture can be anything but boring. It must evoke some sort of emotional response. Later, I'll show you how to do that and what part location tags play in that.
Finally, you always want to have some intrigue in the picture. That intrigue can be created from as little as a facial expression. Or it can be the location you took the shot in. Or it can be something that is a part of the photo. Whatever it is, it should evoke curiosity when she sees it. You know you've done a good job if she leaves a comment or even better DMs you about the photo. Whatever you did, it was good and you should do more along the same lines.
All three are important but it isn't easy to get all three right. It's even harder to get them right all at the same time. Only because a photo is lacking intrigue doesn't mean you cannot post it. Displaying desirable qualities and value is the absolute foundation and is mandatory to building your profile. The other two are intertwined and you should consider them more a part of your "long-term branding".
For example, three pictures of you traveling shows that you are getting around. But constant pictures of you traveling to different locations tell a story. What is it that you do for a living that allows you to do these things? How can you afford that? Who are you with? You get the drift. You need to literally have the bigger picture in mind.
Pictures that get you laid on Instagram
Your three pillars are value, story and intrigue. Do some cool shit and display desirable traits and you will get there. Here's a list of ideas:
The most obvious idea. Been to Paris? London? Cannes? Gainesville at least? SHOW IT OFF. Basement dwellers don't travel. High-profile womanizing gentlemen do. You are the latter not the former. Here's a pro-tip for you: google a list of "most instagrammable places in city XYZ". Take a few shots at those spots. Done. Don't come to me complaining that you're not traveling to take Instagram pics. If you want to get laid, do the damn work.
Doing dangerous or risky things
Danger or risk signals that you are a man that isn't afraid to go for what he wants. Much less will you be intimidated by some woman objecting to your insuperable charm. Danger = sexy.
You're only limited by your creativity here but some suggestions I can come up with off the top of my head:
- Sitting in a fast car/on a motorbike
- Racing a fast car/motorbike/quad or similar
- Doing action sports or combat sports (i.e. boxing is preferable to golf)
- Being in a casino
- Dancing salsa or similar (with a woman not alone)
- Shooting a weapon
- Smoking cigars
I'm sure there are more but these are enough, to begin with.
Doing otherwise interesting things
You don't always have to go fly a plane to get a good Instagram shot. Even mundane things can if done right, work to great effect. For example:
- Surfing or other "regular" sports
- Even reading a book
All these work fine. Cooking means you can provide. Sports means you're not a fat fuck. Reading means you're not just chasing tail but have a brain too. Get a bit creative and you can turn almost anything into a good photo.
Fitness pictures & shots that show off your body
Be careful here. Less is more. If you're in good or great shape, you should sprinkle in the odd topless pic. Don't do selfies but instead get someone else to take a photo of you. Also, don't do a still photo but an "action shot", i.e. when you're in the process of lifting or working out. This will underscore your great shape. Alternatively, you can do beach photos too. Here, the story is key. Topless pics without a story don't work.
Pictures with animals
People that love animals are most probably cool. USE THIS. Any animal is cool although I have been told that puppies work the best. Of course, if you make a shot in the zoo in front of the lion's den, you'll look like an idiot. Use your brain and be actually physically in touch with the animal.
Pictures with hot women
These I added last because they're deadly effective but you have to be a fuckin pro to pull them off. Women want a man that other women want. Fact. However, if you are doing the whole girlfriend thing, you might want to stay away from this. It has to be congruent with your image. Dan Bilzerian pulls it off because he is Dan B. If Bill Gates started publishing shots of him with two dimes in his arms, you wouldn't believe him, right? The absolute key with these is THE RIGHT BODY LANGUAGE but I will cover that later as well.
You at your home base
Instagram is a highlight reel of your life but it's not always going to be supercars & models only. It's ok to post the occasional "normal" picture of you being in your city. I'm in Moscow so I sometimes bust out a picture from the Red Square or another landmark. Ideally, you want to show yourself at a cool event/restaurant/club, etc. This feeds back into the intrigue/value angle.
Photos not showing you
Pictures that show a face will ALWAYS get more likes than landscape pics or pictures showing you from behind. You can still post:
- Dope travel pictures
- Cigars that you're smoking (I don't for example)
- Your pet
- Anything else that ties in with your account's theme and isn't obviously photoshopped or a stock photo
As long as it's a photo that you've taken yourself and that ideally, you are somehow a part of, it's money.
What is the key to good pictures on Instagram?
When you browse Instagram, you notice that some pictures look much better than others. That's true for men and women. There are a few key factors though that will make your pictures stand out:
The three crucial factors to a good Instagram picture (in order of importance)
Quality beats anything. You could be with 10 supermodels but how's that going to help you if the resolution is low and the picture has poor focus?
Instagram pictures don't need to be professional.
In fact, in my opinion, they shouldn't be professional. You want your account to look as authentic and realistic as possible. A good smartphone camera will suffice. Good lighting and the right distance to the camera matter most. Editing tools like Snapseed help you to fix the picture somewhat but don't over-edit. You can spot a heavily edited picture. It never looks as good as the original. Make sure you take multiple photos so you can choose the best one.
Second, get your body language right. This course teaches you how to look like a boss on pictures and how to always look sharp when taking pictures with women. A few basic rules of thumb to follow:
Third, you need to get your positioning on the picture right. You noticed that pretty much everyone takes pictures in front of landmarks with them in the center, right?
You need to stand out.
And you will do that by not standing in the center of your picture but in the left or right third of it. Now, why the hell would you want to do that?
You want to plant the very subtle seed that there's space for another person.
You don't consciously pick up on it and neither does the girl that's scouting your profile. But unconsciously, she will notice that something's different about your pictures. If you've followed the guidelines in this guide, she'll start to picture herself next to you in your pictures from the Maldives, in front of the Eiffel tower and all the other cool things you're doing. It's a very, very subtle thing but it is noticeable.
4 mistakes that will prevent you from getting laid on Instagram
As important as good content is to not fuck up your profile with bad content. Absolute no-go's are:
IG stories that help you to meet girls
Stories are...well, a story in itself. However, stories are an integral part of your strategy to meet girls on Instagram. They keep you fresh in her mind, just like a commericla that she sees over and over again.
Pretty much anything can be posted as a story. There's only one guideline:
It needs to be intriguing and/or display value.
That should sound familiar. Stories have the same function as regular posts, albeit at a lower level.
Stories are a glimpse into your everyday life. If your feed is the highlight reel, the stories are the plays between the highlight reel plays. Leave the best stuff for your feed. Your feed needs to be high-quality, high-value pictures. In stories, you can get away with more.
In my experience, location tags and text play a much bigger role for stories. For regular posts, almost no one reads the description and the location tag is only important if it's some kind of exotic destination. There, you're aiming for value. With stories, you're aiming for intrigue. That's why it's key to use tags and text in a clever way.
A good story intrigues engages and ideally gets the viewer to respond. This is pretty hard to do but here are a couple of examples that have worked well for me:
What I noticed doesn't work for stories is funny stuff, memes, screenshots and the like. At least with girls (and that is your target audience).
Think about it like this: she is mindlessly scrolling through her stories 24/7 anyway. A funny picture or meme might even make her smile but it won't get her to engage.
Stories add up over time. You never know when a girl is "ripe" and texts you out of the blue because she feels like it. So stories' main purpose is to keep you in the loop and somewhere in the back of her mind. One to maximum two a day is enough. You can miss a few days but you should show up at least once to twice a week. The algorithm rewards you being active on the app. The more stories you post, the more viewers Instagram will show them to.
One more note about permanent stories (those at the top of your profile):
In my experience, the best use of those is to (again) demonstrate desirable qualities. For example, I have stories of me being well-dressed and cooking (and my cute cat). Especially cooking is something that is better displayed through video than through pictures.
You can use these according to the categories I outlined above. If you have ten cool stories from ten different travel locations, that's a big, big plus. Or you could put together a story roll called "my hobbies" that shows you doing different badass things. Your creativity is your only limit here.
How often to publish on Instagram
If you race cars and fly planes on a daily basis then by all means post daily. But regular guys shouldn't post more than once a week. And that is the absolute upper limit. Remember: Instagram is your highlight reel. Don't post a random picture only to "stay visible". Women need to stay visible because they need attention. Men don't need attention. They show up to present results.
Your Instagram will only show the good stuff. None of the struggles should be visible. If it looks like a gross over-exaggeration and inaccurate depiction of your life, that is GOOD. If you want to win fair and square then you should better go play solitaire. All is fair in love and war.
One more reason to not publish too often is that you want the pictures to mature and collect likes. If you're buying likes this is irrelevant but that comes with one downside: you won't be able to see which girls like your shit and how fast. You can look that up later in the list but you might not follow every single one of them. If you're not buying likes, you should space out the pictures at least by a week or two. It looks odd if you have 10k followers but only 80 likes on your pictures. Girls notice if the difference is not congruent.
You also should keep a backup of two to three pictures for a dry spell (maybe you're in work mode and have no time for Instagram). You'll always have an old one to bust out. Remember: girls have the attention span of a goldfish. If not at least two out of your first three pictures are money, you're already dead in water. Don't post any random shit, only the most valuable pics are good enough.
How to get laid on Instagram
Let's get to the main event. The part you've been waiting for. We pimped up your account. You have good pictures and a juicy account that will attract girls like bees round a honeypot. The only thing left now is to actually go out and start meeting these girls on Instagram.
This is the three-step process for meeting women on Instagram:
- 1Make a list of target locations
- 2Start Mass liking
- 3Capture hot leads
Step 1: Make a list of target locations
Think about it. Where do you usually meet women?
And so on. I could add twenty more to this list but women are everywhere. And everywhere, where there are women, there are pictures of them on Instagram.
Your job is to make a list of all the popular venues that attract girls. You go on Instagram and type is every popular club or bar or restaurant or ANY OTHER VENUE that attractive girls go to. No matter how big or small your city is, you should come up with at least ten but better twenty to thirty venues.
The purpose of this is to generate a source of traffic. The easiest targeted way of finding girls on Instagram is to reverse-search them through locations or hashtags (or other accounts). Hashtags are messy because there is a lot of trash and many people don't hashtag their photos.
You can search girls through other girls and you will do this with this method too. But the best way of finding active, engaged women on Instagram is to find them "at the source": the places where they hang out. Most girls nowadays can't go five seconds without their Instagram and will happily share their whereabouts. We'll use this for our own purposes.
A tip: be strategic about it. Some locations will be more resourceful than others. If I only search for "Moscow" on Instagram, I'll get a shitload of trash and non-female accounts. If I look for a generic Moscow restaurant, that's already more targeted. But if I look for popular Moscow clubs or universities, I'll find almost exclusively girls because they're far more active than men. Think about which locations make sense and where your "target audience" (demographic, type) tags themselves.
Step 2: Start mass liking
Now that you have your traffic source, it's time to go to work. You will like two sources of pictures: the timeline and the stories.
Liking girls in the photo section of a location
Liking girls in the stories of a location
This is the gist of it. It's very easy to do but it's a fuckload of work. Essentially, it is a never-ending process because you can spend your entire day only doing this if you choose to do so. It's still the most efficient way of meeting women online and I am getting great results with it.
A couple of tips that I can give you:
- Evening times are better and Sunday is the best day. If you're scraping a daytime venue like a university, most stories are published by then. If it's a nightclub, I noticed that a lot of girls add stories the following day. Sunday is by far the best day. Girls are most receptive on Sunday.
- The magic happens in the stories. Not so many girls tag their location on photos but a lot will tag their location in the stories. It's a flimsy process but you MUST GO THROUGH THE STORIES.
- Go through the stories multiple times. The IG algorithm isn't entirely transparent so it doesn't show a chronological list of all stories added (that would make it a lot more streamlined). Instead, I noticed that for clubs I have to go through the stories, then click on another location and then return to find a new set of stories.
- There's no way around the manual work. You can complain all you want but you have to put in the work manually or find someone to do it for you. I researched but couldn't find a bot that is able to do this. If your account is good, it will be more than worth it.
- Popular places are nonstop popular. In Moscow, there are food courts that are busy all day so girls will tag themselves all day long. It's a constant stream of new targets.
- You will run into the same people. If you do this with serious intent as I do, you'll notice pretty quickly that a lot of the same girls start reappearing in the same clubs. That's why having an extensive list of locations is paramount to not running out of traffic.
- Keep your eyes open when scanning her profile. Some girls have boyfriends. Don't like her pictures, it's pointless. The same goes for private profiles, no use in adding them.
- Don't like ass pictures or flower pictures. I only scan girls for signs of a boyfriend and randomly like her pictures. But I NEVER like thot pictures that are only out there to get likes. I also never like pictures of hers with flowers (very common in Russia) because I know those are often from some poor fool trying to buy his way into her pants. Not validating that.
The beauty of this method is that it allows you to "approach" massive amounts of girls. You would never be able to do this in real life. You can effectively "visit" all the city's clubs in one day with this method. Since every girl has Instagram it's even better than Tinder.
The downside is that it's an insane amount of work, depending on how much you want to put into it. You can outsource it to another person and this is what I plan to do. It takes too much time for me and it's not fun but I cannot miss out on the benefits. I will add a section about outsourcing the manual work after having done so.
Step 3: Capture hot leads
You've liked a ton of pics. Very very soon, you will see the likes start pouring in.
IT IS ON.
Every like is an indicator of interest and your signal to send her a message. But not just a message.
After a girl liked one or more of your pictures, you comment on her story (or one of her old ones).
Initially, you are going to be in her request folder no matter what. But since girls are nosy, at least 80% answer your initial message if it's good. You don't want to follow her right off the bat because it shows commitment on your part. We're playing it cool. Some girls don't allow commenting on their stories. Then you have to add her to message her. Sometimes they follow you right back. That's a great sign.
This method is much better than cold messaging because you only target "warm leads". I don't have estimates on how many girls like my pictures back. But I can tell you that three to four hours of this on a Sunday yields me 20+ conversations in my inbox. It quickly spirals out of control, hence why I say this is real work.
If the conversation is going alright, I nowadays start following them. If she follows back, that's great. Even if I don't get her number, it keeps her in my funnel. If she doesn't, I unfollow. You don't have to follow them but can experiment with this. Don't do it too early because you don't want to overcommit.
How to DM a girl on Instagram
The magic question is:
How do I DM a girl on Instagram and what is the best message?
In my case that would be "Moscow?". It's effective because it keeps the interaction as simple as possible and evokes a guaranteed answer (because the question is really stupid).
As far as normal interaction on Instagram goes, my advice is to keep it to a minimum. I muted a lot of girls on stories because it's mostly inane garbage that distracts me. I NEVER like girls' pictures. Unless I am already fucking her and even then only if it's a cool one and not a blatant attention grab. Do not validate her thirst for attention. There are billions of men who will do that for you.
I don't unfollow girls as long as they follow me. When she does, you can unfollow her too. Often a conversation with a girl will die down and you want to re-engage after a few weeks or months. I keep a small archive of funny memes as respawn texts for that purpose. I also send out generic texts for special days like New Year's, Women's Day, Victory Day in Russia and others. Even if you only get a thank you in return, you can try to restart from there.
The basic rule and most important guideline for texting is to make it as easy as possible for her to respond and to aim for progression. Don't get stuck on Instagram, try to move it to Whatsapp and to a meeting. This is an art and the course will teach you everything you need to know.
Armed with this guide, there is no way you can fail on Instagram. Your game now is better than 99.99% of men out there.