You're ready to meet the Russian woman of your dreams.
You did your due diligence and dug up the most popular online dating sites in Russia to start contacting these long-legged beauty queens.
At first it's all going well. But then you fire up the Mamba dating app and it all starts going terribly wrong.
That's what I am going to tell you in this brutally honest review of Mamba...
I'll be quite frank here.
Initially I wanted to make this a review with affiliate links so we both profit from my work.
But I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
I just cannot recommend such a low-quality, bugged and trash dating app, no matter how good their affiliate program is.
You'll notice that I am very selective with what I recommend. In fact, I don't even have a dating app on there yet because none has proven to make the cut. It isn't about the money, it's about integrity and helping you - men helping each other out as brothers.
Without further ado, here's why I am less than impressed with Mamba dating.
Mamba Dating...do I need to know it?
If you have found this post, you are probably aware of what kind of a dating app Mamba is. But for those that have stumbled upon this post, Mamba dating is one of the top 3 dating apps in Russia. It's very well-known even though I wouldn't exactly say it's popular. It's definitely not as trendy or accepted as Tinder. Rather, Mamba is like one of the old-school dating sites just as an app.
That has certain consequences for their user base but we'll talk about that in a second. Either way, if for some magical reason you manage to meet a decently-looking girl on Mamba that you start dating, you might just want to tell everyone that the two of you met...somewhere else, just not on there. It's got quite a bad rap if you see where I'm coming from.
What's the user experience like on Mamba?
This is my first issue with Mamba.
Their interface is lacking to say the least. But see for yourself.
This is the so-called photoline. To be fair, I have no clue what it's function is but that's one of the menu options on the app. As far as I understand, you can
spam post on the timeline and then hope someone answers you. A completely pointless exercise if you ask me. If I want to find someone for dating, I'll either swipe or search for someone. If I want to find friends, I will not be using Mamba for sure.
This is the message menu. Too much going on there if you ask me. I'd like a cleaner interface but instead I have too many options to click on. Marina was either a bot or a spammer so my only match on Mamba did not go anywhere. 🙁
There is also an option to livestream yourself which, again, is completely pointless. Why would anyone want to watch that? Worse than that, you run into tons of really, really busted dudes (and women) and the occassional dick pic on there so I'm sparing you a screenshot of that.
Long story short, the user interface is overloaded, unintuitive and just plain sucks.
So what about the women on Mamba dating?
Yea, the women...
To say they are underwhelming would be an understatement. Best you see for yourself.
I know some of your horny fuckers would stick it into everything and everyone but Moscownightguide is about dating beautiful Russian women, not trailhogs. And these are the younger women, now imagine what older women look like?
Of course I screenshotted the really bad ones to make my point. But the honest truth is that there are almost no women to match to begin with. What's even worse, the app is buggy and after about 10 women you start seeing the same ones again, regardless whether you swiped left or right on them. And yes, I reinstalled it to be completely sure.
Long story short, the women on Mamba dating are unatractive, there's not a lot of them (this might be a plus) but that doesn't even matter cause the app is buggy anyway.
Mamba Dating App…what the hell is that?
Am I going to get scammed on Mamba? Are there hookers on Mamba?
Honestly, I couldn't tell you since I don't match anyone. But you can be 100% sure that those girls who put "looking for sex" in their profile aren't going to do it for free. If you get a girl being extra friendly and interested in you, you can expect her to be a scammer as well. But overall I think the app sucks too much even to get scammed.
Is the VIP version worth it?
The good think about the VIP version is that it's cheap as well. You can get VIP status for 5US$. Compare that to Tinder who charge you 5 times that amount (but honestly that app is also 100 times better.) If you're extra desperate, please be my guest and try. You'll get the standard perks like a boost to your visibility, being able to filter for preferences and age and the like. In my opinion it's not worth it.
Is Mamba dating even worth a shot if I don't speak Russian?
Given that I couldn't even match with girls who o speak Russian, you'll be hard-pressed to find someone who speaks decent English.
Can I find a wife on Mamba?
First, you need to know Russian. Girls on Mamba simply are not going to speak English because it's not that kind of demographic.
Second, you have to find, well, girls. I'll stop here with the complaining but matching is really difficult because the app is so poor.
Third, not knocking on dating apps but if you think you'll find a wife on Mamba, you're probably delusional. If you want some tips and tricks that actually work then you're better off reading this.
My final verdict on Mamba dating
The good: I wish I could add something here. Maybe that the premium version is cheap to try. In cities other than Moscow or St.Petersburg where Tinder isn't as widespread, you might actually have more success on Mamba since it's a Russian app.
The bad: Almost everything else. I liked nothing about Mamba dating. It's a complete and utter waste of time. The usability is poor, the app has lots of bugs and you can't match with anyone although there are very few girls on there anyway.
Instead of wasting your time on shitty dating apps like Mamba sign up to my list below and learn some real skills.