I remember the first time I stepped foot in the Gipsy nightclub in Moscow way back in 2014.
I was stunned by how many hot girls there are. I mean absolutely blown away. That day I decided that Moscow was the right city for me to live in. I was going nowhere. I had to get my hands on these hotties. But that turned out to be much more difficult than it initially looked. Russian girls are friendly and curious at the beginning but they are tough to crack.
Fast forward three years later. I finally have figured out the code to what Russian woman are looking for in a man and I’m about to share it with you…
First things first. Obviously different things work for different women. Some women love bad boy types that are covered in tattoos. Others love hipsters. Others love men in suits. There is no one-size-fits-all solution.
But roughly, you want to think along the lines of what I am going to tell you. Especially, if you’re looking for more than a quick fling. These are qualities that are in high demand by Russian women. No matter what type you are, this advice is money.
Not only do I know this from experience but also because the most in-demand man in Russia ticks all of these boxes:
That’s right. No matter what you think of him, he’s considered (sort of) a sex symbol in Russia. Buckle up and get a notepad cause I’m about to show you how to be as desired as Vladimir Putin.
There’s a cultural component to this point. Historically, Russia has always been a very unstable country. You could pretty much set your watch by when the next revolution is around the corner. Only after Putin’s “rise to the throne” the situation stabilized something, which is one of the reasons why most Russians (females included) massively respect him.
Women are more affected by this than men since it’s been harder for them to provide for themselves (until recently). They have to look out for themselves. If a man can provide financial stability that is a BIG plus.
Couple that with strong gender roles and there’s your explanation. As a man you are expected to have your shit together financially. Especially if you are in your 30s or older. Younger guys might get a pass because they’re still students or just starting out but as you’re approaching your 30s, you MUST be financially stable.
Does that mean that you have to be rich?
No. That helps but it isn’t necessary.
Does that mean that you have to shower her with (expensive) gifts?
Absolutely not. She’ll appreciate it but it is by no means necessary. Small gestures and gifts can have a much larger impact than trying to “buy her”. A woman who asks you for that is likely a hoe and you should terminate contact with her IMMEDIATELY.
So what does being a provider mean?
Financially, it means that you’ll have to pay for the two of you when you are together. Dates, trips, living arrangements, all of that. Don’t expect her to contribute because it is a cultural norm. Don’t try to change her opinion on that because that will only make matters worse.
Money talk is an absolute no go in Russia. You do not discuss money with females. You have it and shut up about it. If you don’t have it you also shut up about that and try to make more money. Don’t pride yourself on being cheap, don’t talk about prices, none of that stuff. If you can provide for her she will never even ask if you have a lot of money or not because it won’t matter.
A lot of Russian girls grow up with an absent father. Divorce rates are high in Russia so you’ll hear “I’m living with my mom” plenty of times when dating Russians. In my experience AT LEAST every third girl doesn’t grow up in a functioning family, maybe even 50%.
I also have to explain that age gap is not a problem when dating in Russia. 15 years is still considered ok, even 20 years are acceptable.
Put these factors together and you’ll understand why you have to be not only a boyfriend or husband but also a mentor. This is even truer, the younger the girl is. Be someone she looks up to, respects, admires and asks for advice. You’re very often also a substitute father figure.
In concrete terms this means giving her advice when she asks for it, sharing your own wisdom and experiences and actually GIVING A FUCK. Just like a father, you don’t have to help with every bagatelle but help when she comes to you with real problems. She will listen and learn and admire you even more for it.
Recall Putin: they even do entire annual press conferences where selected people can pour their heart out to him about local problems. This is very much the role you need to take.
This is sort of a synthesis of the previous two. 90% of Russian women dream of having a family and children. They’re total suckers for romantic fantasies even though (or probably because) their own family failed and all of their friends got divorced and were cheated on. But we’re not after logic here.
If you are caring and respectable you will inevitably be considered “husband material”. Those are the two most important qualities she is looking for in a father. It will be hard for her not to fall in love with you. No matter how you feel about marriage, this is a good position to be in.
Think of Putin, he is the “father figure” of the entire country. He’s respected and at least perceived to be caring.
Being someone to look up to means you’re someone that’s respected. It also includes means that you’re someone who the woman doesn’t want to be on bad terms with.
Being caring is different. Instead of being a person of authority, it is about being on the same level as she is and evoking positive emotions in her. The easiest way to do this is to give her the right amount of attention.
You don’t want to give too much attention because that weakens and subordinates you, which is the worst thing you can do when dating a Russian woman. Instead, you give attention, Especially in person. You dedicate your most important resource to her, your time. There are no magic tricks involved her. Keep it basic and be gentle and nice to her. Again, small gestures and surprises are much more important than material stuff.
Attention via social media and texting is completely unnecessary. Do you feel better when someone hugs you or when someone writes you a text? Keep that to a minimum without being rude or neglecting her.
Russian women have two especially annoying habits. They are nosy and they are possessive.
That means you’ll have to establish boundaries in your relationship right off the bat. YOU dominate the frame and YOU let her know right away that certain things are none of her business. Trust me, no matter how “honest” you think she is to you, she has more skeletons in her closet than you could possibly imagine. This isn’t about lying or being deceptive or keeping secrets but about establishing a solid and healthy relationship with YOU in the driver’s seat.
What will happen is that she’ll inevitable become curious and nosy about whatever it isn’t that you keep to yourself. This is GOOD. You want to provoke emotions in her because Russian women eat up the emotional rollercoaster rides. Intrigue will keep her interested and coming back for more.
You do this in small doses in never with malicious intent. Think about it more like not telling her where you’ll go when you call her for a date. Not answering her texts for a while and being monosyllabic with your explanation why. You don’t have big secrets but use this sparingly and carefully. It’ll give her the feeling that there’s always something new to discover about your personality.
At the end of the day, who’s the most secretive and mysterious man in Russia? The president. No one really knows what he’s up to, how much money he has and what he’s thinking. Does it hurt him? Quite the opposite.
Gender roles is Russia are strong. Weak men aren’t celebrated like in the West. If you hear a noise in the apartment, who do you think will be expected to take care of it? It’s your ass that will be on the line. You are the protector.
Also, Russians are not as tribal as other cultures but the men are expected to protect their own. Russia is one of those countries that has a very strong fortress mentality – it’s them against us. And naturally, it’s the men are who are expected to do this.
Putin is the perfect example of this. He protects the entire nation from foreign powers trying to do harm. It’s him who provides safety, stability and protection to Russia (even non-Russians agree on this). Think along these lines.
I bet you thought this would not show up at all.
I included this point as last because it’s the least important. It’s a “nice to have” but not really required. How often have you seen really beautiful Eastern European women with busted men? There’s your proof.
A Russian woman will choose almost every time a man that has most of the above qualities over a man that’s fit and handsome and a model but broke and provides no long-term outlook. Looks aren’t really valued.
In fact, they can even work against you. If you’re a good-looking and intelligent man and you’re dealing with a woman with low self-esteem, she will feel inadequate. She’ll consider you “too good to be true” and you’re guaranteed lots and lots of drama.
With high-value women, you will have a luxury problem. They will very quickly try to get commitment out of you and be very possessive if you really are a good catch. Again, lots and lots of drama will ensue.
That doesn’t mean that busted men have it better, quite the contrary. Smart & fit men will have more options to choose from than time on their hands. But they will also have to deal with lots of bullshit, drama and manipulation to find a quality woman.
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